You Know What They Say
by Zandrellia
Summary: You know what they say: People might say whatever they wish, however, if they use the word but anything they have said before it is now erased. They lied, spoke an unhonest answer to cover up or to console, purposefully or not.
1. Chapter One: I don't know you, but

Chapter One: I don't know you, but...

It had been difficult. Her chest rose and fell with each heavy inhalation as beads of sweat trickled down her face. Raising a shaking hand, Kagome wiped at her face to keep the salty liquid from falling into her eyes more. Her bow was still gripped within her whitened fingers and the arrow lay within the forehead of a spider youkai. It lay, writhing on the ground for a few moments before the nervous system failed and the legs fell still. "Gross. I always hated spiders." Curious heads turned towards the little miko with odd expressions on each member's faces. Several empty moments passed before Miroku spoke and broke the silence. "Kagome, might I say that you've grown so much and yet you never cease to amaze me with your statements. You just killed a youkai on your own and the first thing you say is how nasty it is?" He smirked a little and looked at her with a knowing gaze. The rest of the group, as if some spell had been broken, laughed. They were laughing at her. Kagome shook her head and smiled, soon joining in their laughter. "It was a little silly, wasn't it?"

Everyone stopped to look at her only to fall into laughter again. Yes, it was true; the Kagome that they had all met was growing up. She had blossomed both physically and mentally and now she was near fearless. For the past six months she had actively taken a role in fighting against youkai during their search for shikon shards. Also, she had taken up practicing with a staff and received training from Miroku during restful times. Everyone agreed that the staff, second to the bow, was probably one of the best weapons for the young woman. She was not extremely strong, nor was she overly brave, but she had an agility and passion about her movements which suited the needs of the staff beautifully. Many mornings they now woke to the sound of her constant practicing. Her power was blooming due to the confidence and energy she now had and because of this she made it a habit to study with whatever miko she could find whenever she could, even just a momentary word or two in the right direction was quickly jotted down into a little notebook for future reference. What had overcome Kagome? Why the sudden shift? Simple. She had graduated High School in her own home time and now felt it was needed for her to study more useful subjects.

It was an interesting change. The group was now entirely devoted to helping her in any way and it seemed that they were gathering shards much faster than before. Today they had even collected three shards. Spirits were high as they marched along after the next. Unfortunately, just when things are looking up... reality decides to bring you down.

Rain poured upon them as a loud crack was heard in the distance.

With a groan and the lowering of his ears against his head InuYasha crossed his arms in an obvious display of discomfort. "Stupid rain. Why did it have to rain today? Why not tomorrow!" The body language of the group seemed to show that they all agreed with him. They trekked on, nobody argued that they might need to stop as they would only be just as wet either way. Then it happened, a sound in the area around them to their left. It was close and coming nearer. InuYasha growled and, trusting his instincts, drew Tetsuaiga and stood in a ready stance. "Whoever you are you can come out now. We know you're there." He growled out low, trying to intimidate. He honestly hoped that whoever it was would just run away. They were all tired and a little depressed from the rain and they didn't need another fight. Who emerged from the shadows was, however, unexpected. Fumbling over his own feet, blind with adrenaline and gasping for breath. InuYasha raised an eyebrow curiously at the little creature and wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Jaken?" He sheathed his sword and looked down at the toad with pity. "What are you doing here?"

In a moment's notice the little green fellow was upon Kagome's feet. "P..p..please!" It was obviously hard for him to say what he had to say, his pride was getting in the way. But he had come so far! Kagome kneeled down to be as close to eye level as possible with him and hesitantly set her hand upon his shoulder. The big beady eyes looked up at her, quaking in desperation. "My lord does not know I am here. If he finds me he will surely kill this lowly retainer!" Kagome was shocked at his outburst and shook her head slowly in confusion. Brow furrowed she asked the question that had already been asked.

"Why are you here?" Her voice cracked a little, showing her uncertainty. "And what can I do for you? I swear to you, as a miko, that whatever you need I will see to it that your lord does not harm you for simply asking."

Jaken shook his head quickly and began to wring his hands together. "Noo, you do not know his wrath! This Jaken will be dead before the night is through! You must make haste, miko! I have come with an urgent mission and sought you as you are the only human with such capabilities that this Jaken knows of!" He threw himself, hands akimbo, into the muddy ground before her feet and continued his begging. "This Jaken will gladly pay as many lives as I must for this is a matter of Lord Sesshomaru's own happiness!"

That certainly got everyone's attention. Sango frowned with confusion and wondered aloud. "Lord Sesshomaru's ..happiness!" Ignoring the lace of sarcasm in the woman's voice Jaken continued to speak, not looking away from Kagome or removing himself from the ground. "Yes! Most certainly! Lord Sesshomaru is a proud and dignified youkai, he cannot openly admit his affections! It is my duty to see to it that he may continue to keep his pride and still keep his joy. As an honored and humble servant I have traveled for days to find you so that you may save what little love is within my lord's life! We do not speak of it aloud as it was so unexpected but it is obvious to anyone that the lord loves the girl!"

Kagome was really confused now. Lifting the toad by the shoulders she grasped him firmly and said in a raspy voice. "What are you talking about!" Jaken closed his eyes momentarily and sighed in defeat, it was obvious he would have to sacrifice more of his own dignity to obtain the services needed.

"The cold times came quickly and we were caught unprepared. Nobody had looked into the matter and so when the slight echo of a cough began to surface in the halls we treated with whatever means we could. It was agreed among all that, as long as he did not notice, we would not mention the matter to our lord. He was burdened enough already! But the cough turned nasty and wet! Now she lays, unable to move from her bed and barely breathing. We fear that she may die! Please, miko, I humbly ask that you save the child Rin, ward of the great Lord Sesshomaru, with your superior healing capabilities. Please!" The last word, spoken with a shrill of desperation broke the little youkai and his head hung low with grief. Everyone stood in shock, mouths gaping. Rin? The little girl that followed Sesshomaru everywhere? She was ill? Kagome couldn't understand all that Jaken had said but she got the gist. With a small smile she sighed and did something unexpected: she pulled Jaken to her and gave him a hug. Her voice escaped her softly and she could tell he was listening intently.

"Do not fear for Rin. I will go with you immediately and see to it that she is healed. If, in the instance that Lord Sesshomaru is displeased with your actions today then you may travel with me. I would be honored to have one such as you to call a friend. Anyone who would risk their life and their pride for someone they love so much is somebody I respect. Please, allow us to go to our village where I can pick up supplies and then we will go to heal your little friend." She smiled when Jaken stopped shaking but she could still feel that he was on the verge of tears. Lucky for him it was raining. Placing him on his own two feet she stood and gathered her pack, motioning to InuYasha with the wave of her hand. "InuYasha, come on. We need to go as fast as possible to the well. I have to get medicine for Rin." InuYasha wasn't sure he really wanted to help Sesshomaru but he couldn't allow a little girl to suffer or possibly die just because of his brother. He sighed and walked over to Kagome, lifting her onto his back. She turned to Miroku and Sango with a smile as they took off towards the well. "We'll see you at Kaede's in a few hours!"

InuYasha looked up for a moment, towards the raven head on his shoulder. "Kagome?" Her eyes were closed and she looked.. worried. "Hmm?" Was her only reply. He turned back to his path and sighed a little. "Do you know what is wrong with the girl?" He felt Kagome fidget a little and then she went quiet. "Kagome?" Her head fell against his back and she grit her teeth. "Yes. She has Pneumonia. In my time they can heal it rather quickly with medicines but here... especially to a child in the hands of unknowing youkai.. it can be fatal. I'm going to get some antibiotics for her and ask my mother for the best recommendations on what helps. Hopefully she will be better in a month or two." She heard his little growl and traced her fingers along his back. "I know. You don't want to be around your brother that long. I was wondering.. well.. I didn't want to ask until I came back from home but I suppose.. maybe you could take Sango, Miroku, and Shippo to Kaede's until I send word that I can return? Rin will not get better if her home life is disturbed by too many individuals and you and Sesshomaru will only be at each other's throats."

She heard him snort a little and she wondered what was so funny. "You forgot one little thing, Kagome. You haven't even had permission from Sesshomaru to stay in his home. Even if it is to heal this girl, I really doubt he's going to jump for joy at the idea of you, of all humans, staying in his home." Kagome frowned and rolled her eyes. "Well I suppose he's just going to have to get over it, won't he?" She said with a smirk.

Sesshomaru was pacing. Everyone who lived within his home was on edge for fear that he, in his state of unrest, might unleash some of that irritation on them. It had taken a while, not that he was ignorant, their lord was just busy very often and did not focus on the pains of those around him. However, as time went on and the raspy coughing of the little girl upstairs continued he could no longer be oblivious. He knew that Rin was sick, possibly to die again, and that nobody had told him. He wasn't angry with them, no. He knew why they did it. He was angry with himself. How could he have allowed this to happen? Rin was now an important part of his household. She provided sunlight during rain and color during drab times. Without her he wasn't certain that the others could go on. He saw how attached they had all become to the child, it was preposterous but real. How could he have been so stupid? She was a child! Human children get so ill so easily. With a sigh he rubbed at his temples with his hand, continuing to pace.

"Jaken! Where is Jaken!" He bellowed out when a young maid entered the room to dust. She quivered and shook her head, displaying wordlessly that she did not know. Sesshomaru grit his teeth together once the girl had fled from the room. Where was that toad? While he didn't really like Jaken he was very happy with the service that the runt provided. Something must have come up for him not to be standing right in this very room, trying his best to console his upset master. Sesshomaru growled slightly when a young male youkai entered, the messenger boy, and spoke slightly. "Sir? Lord Sesshomaru? There is a young miko requesting an audience with you. She says that it is a matter of life and death and.." The boy seemed reluctant to say this part but knew that his lord could tell if he were lying. "And that if you know what is best for you that you will let her in." He cowered away, but did not leave, waiting for a response. Sesshomaru stopped abruptly, hand still on his forehead and shoulders taught with frustration.

What was happening to his tranquil home! "Allow her to enter and bring her here immidiately." He sighed and turned to continue pacing, not even noticing when the strange girl entered the room or that his retainer was following her dutifully.

Kagome stood, Jaken at her side, before the lord of the western lands inside his great room. He was pacing back and forth and would glance at her angrily out the side of his view. "Miko. Why have you come here?" When he asked this his vision jerked towards Jaken and he glared. "And where have you been!" Jaken shook with fear and was about to throw himself to the ground when the girl stepped before him, as if to protect him.

She cleared her throat lightly and bowed low, never removing her eyes from Sesshomaru's face. "Lord Sesshomaru, I thank you for your generosity in allowing me an audience with you. Please, I have heard of the young child within this home and her illness. I know this illness and am here to cure her. Would you allow a miko to do her duty and help the child?" She did not rise nor did her voice waver above a slight whisper. She seemed to be slightly afraid and, glancing at her again, he could not shake that she looked terribly familiar.

Without addressing her he turned to stop and look towards Jaken. "So. This is what you have been up to. You sought out a human to help." He was angry at the toad, how dare he go and ask for such a favor without consulting him for permission first! However, there was little he could do about it, she was already here and willing to assist the child. Turning his gaze to the girl he looked her over, carefully observing any features that might show a potential threat to his household. Obviously, by her clothes, she was a miko and that could be a problem if she decided to turn angry to any of his staff. He would simply tell them to stay away from her. Jaken started this, if he were to get purified that would be his problem. Sesshomaru inclined his head ever so slightly and the miko stood upright again. "You may stay here for the duration of the child's illness. No longer. Once she is better you will see to it that my staff knows how to prevent such an occurrence again. Jaken will assist you with your needs while you are here. You will not be given a room of your own, you may stay with the girl, and you are not to wander about or speak with any of my other staff members. If there is severe problems tell Jaken and he will inform me." He said this while pointedly glaring down at the toad that quickly nodded and scrambled to the girl's side again. Sesshomaru turned his gaze to the girl again, unable to get over how familiar she looked. "Tell me, miko, what is your name?"

A gasp was heard from her and her hand flew to her mouth. After such a list of orders she never expected him to ask a social question. Lowering her hand quickly she smiled. "I am known as Kagome, Kagome Higurashi." Sesshomaru waved his hand in the air, dismissing them and Jaken led Kagome out of the great room. Within his mind he had to wonder... the girl, even her name, was oddly familiar. He shook it off and left to complete his work, satisfied that the horrid coughing would end soon.

Before fully leaving Kagome turned and glanced at the retreating back of Sesshomaru. "You don't know me, but.. I will do all I can to help you." Her whisper was left to hang in the empty room, unheard. 


	2. Chapter Two: I don't hear you, but

Chapter Two: I don't hear you, but...

The hacking could be heard just on the other side of the door. Kagome winced; the illness was progressed worse than she had thought. Closing her eyes for a moment she let out a silent prayer that she could save this child before it was too late. Obviously, she had the work cut out for her and so she also silently thanked her mother for her advice. In her mind she could still hear her. "Kagome, the best medicine for a sick child is love. From what you say, this girl has love in abundance, but it is from people who do not know how to express that emotion. She needs to feel it and hear it and see it in your actions. When you enter that room you should let yourself go and allow your maternal instinct to take over. For once you do, you will find, medicine or no, the girl will get better by leaps and bounds." Her mother smiled that misty little way she always did and then handed a small teddy bear to her. "And give her this. It was yours when you were a little girl and you always clung to it so when you were ill. He was your comfort and rock when nobody else was around." Kagome couldn't help the tears that entered her eyes at the thought of not seeing her family for weeks on end. Shaking her head she told herself to pull it together and then, with determination, entered the room.

A little head, covered in black hair, could be seen popping out from a mass of blankets and pillows on the bed. Another series of coughs escaped the child. Kagome immediately ran over to the little girl and lifted her into her arms, holding her close but not too tightly until the coughing spell went away. Rin's foggy eyes turned to Kagome in question. "Mommy? Is that you?" Her voice sounded horrible, torn and distorted from the inability in her lungs and the mutilated flesh of her throat. Kagome closed her eyes for a moment again, afraid that the girl's voice my never be the same again. Instead of being worried, though, she merely smiled at the child. "No, Rin. I am not your mother. I am here to help you get better." At this, the little girl smiled and hugged Kagome before another coughing spell took her. While she held the child, Kagome looked around the room to see what there was to work with. Apparently, from the look of the bed, the youkai believed that they could use the treatment for fevers to break the pneumonia away. She would have to remove all the linens and have them boiled. Looking up to the doorway she saw Jaken, standing to the side of the open door. "Jaken? Please go and request that somebody start a large pot of boiling water. All of these linens, including what Rin is wearing, will have to be washed." The retainer nodded once and then left the hall for a moment to delegate the task.

While he was gone she laid the now sleeping Rin on the bed and set to removing the blankets and pillows. Bed might not be an appropriate name.. it was more or less three futons piled upon themselves with tons of blankets and pillows. They probably hadn't been properly washed in months. No wonder the child was sick! Jaken entered the room again and Kagome turned to him with a slightly defeated look on her face. "Don't you people ever clean?" He was shocked and a little confused. She shook her head and threw a pile of musty blankets at him before tackling the huge number of pillows. Soon, pillows, blankets, and clothes could be seen flying out of the child's room. If you looked carefully, you could see the toad squirming about trying to swim his way out of the mess only to be assaulted by flying linen. Once the last of them had been removed and there remained only one futon, the cleanest in Kagome's opinion, she turned to Jaken and watched with an amused grin as he extracted himself. "Have those all boiled and hung to dry outside. There's a nice breeze out so they should dry well. Then bring me a bucket of hot water, a bar of soap, and some kind of cloths that I can clean this room with." Jaken grumbled something about bossy women as he hefted a few pillows and ran off to find some help.

Kagome opened her pack and pulled out some baby wipes. Taking one in her hand she carefully stripped Rin of her clothes and then wiped the child down. By the time Kagome had found the slightly green hue of Rin's skin she had used nearly half the package. Shaking her head in amazement she now had to ask if they ever bathed, either. Rin moaned a little and shivered due to the cold air. Kagome quickly pulled out a little nightgown and a pair of socks from her pack, dressing the girl. It was a good thing her mom thought of everything. She covered Rin with another blanket and then pulled out her digital thermometer, turning it on and sticking it in Rin's mouth. While waiting she looked around the now rather sparse room. Once the piles of clothes and masses of blankets were gone the room seemed so much larger and emptier. A beep startled Kagome out of her musings and she looked at the numbers. 99.2, not deadly but not wonderful for a sick child either. Turning the thermometer off she saw Jaken return with a bucket of hot water, a bar of soap, and a handful of strips of cotton cloth. He set them down before her and then waited for her next order. She smiled at him and pointed to the pile of baby wipes. "Have those burned, please. Then wash your hands thoroughly." He nodded, a little confused, but did as she said.

Turning to look around at what she should start with Kagome noticed a small window in the side of the room. It had not been opened in some time, probably because the room's occupant was too short to reach the sill. With a determined nod Kagome pulled her sleeves up and went to cleaning the window, all the while humming a tune to keep her mind off the dirty work. Rin slept somewhat peacefully and Jaken had yet to return so the hall was full of the sounds of the bustling of Staff removing the pile of linens and Kagome's song.

He could hear her from the floor below. Her voice was very melodious and soothing but far too distracting.

Sesshomaru sat in his study, unsure what he was going to do about the miko. He realized that he had told her that she could stay to help Rin. He also realized that it was probably in his best interest to allow her to help Rin. But.. He also had realized just who she was. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed it before! She had changed, agreed, grown up and was more mature in her features. She also wasn't wearing that indecent strip of green cloth that she called clothing and had taken to wearing miko garb. Somehow he felt that she probably had only done that for her presence in his home and he was a little surprised that he would grant her, a silly human, with such forethought. Though, he couldn't help the slight smile that graced his face at the idea that she would think of such things. It wasn't beyond her capabilities from what he had seen so far. Putting up with his stupid half-brother showed an immense patience and understanding that went beyond her years, especially considering her mortality. Unfortunately it was because she was InuYasha's companion that he would have to send her away. He knew the boy all too well. A day or two might pass and Rin would become dependent on the miko to cure her. Then, seemingly for no reason to anyone but himself, the boy would come running in with his sword drawn and his fangs bared. Sesshomaru couldn't help a slight pang of irritation towards his brother. He was such an idiot! Such potential but that stupid brain could never get past himself to see it. Rediculous. A waste of good blood, in his opinion.

With a raise of his hand he called an attendant to him and requested Jaken to send the Miko to him immediately. There could be no delay or it would crush Rin completely. He waited until the girl came before him, dirty and dusty with her sleeves rolled up past her elbows and her hair mussed. She looked very unclean and quite unladylike. It was rather amusing, she was an extremely clean human as far as he knew of them and to see her in such a state was rather different. Almost charming.

Almost.

She bowed low again, not looking away from him but showing proper respect. He nodded and she rose to stand before him. "You called for me, Lord Sesshomaru?" He looked away from her, not wanting to see her face as she would break out in anger as he knew she would. With a wave he motioned for her to sit on a cushion before the desk. She did as requested and once settled he began.

"You must leave here. Now. I am most bothered by the idea that my half-brother may come running in here to disrupt my home even more. Instead of waiting for the inevitable I will simply allow you to leave before he gets that notion in his head." He said this with an air of finality and, as an afterthought said: "And stop that noise you were making earlier. It is bothersome."

Her confused gaze met his. "Noise? What noise?" Her voice was harsh but contained; she was trying her best to control her temper. He and InuYasha were so alike! They had to make everything difficult and thought they knew it all! Amazing! Annoying! She had to press into her hand with her other to keep herself from screaming at him. What an assuming ass! "Whatever. InuYasha won't come here. I already told him to stay away. I won't leave for a reason like that; it's not worth Rin's health. If InuYasha does happen to come I will deal with him, you do not have to worry."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at her and pursed his lips in thought. "That noise you make when you open your mouth and sound comes out." He watched, sideways, as her face flew into a fury and her eyes grew large. Utterly hilarious. She was so obvious and readable. It had been so long since he had some company that wasn't afraid to be themselves that he had almost forgotten what teasing was like.

Kagome closed her eyes and grit her teeth, pushing harder on her hand and feeling herself cut the flesh. Jackass! He didn't even bother to discuss the real subject. He was more concerned with her simple humming! She bowed low and looked up at him again. "Forgive me, Lord Sesshomaru. I will refrain from making noise until you deem it worthy of your ears." She said this in a quiet but firm and angry tone, traced with a bit of sarcasam and loaded with contempt. How could a child love this monster so much! He was insufferable! Sesshomaru turned to her quickly and glared.

"Do not address me so harshly. Remember whose home you are in, Kagome." He expected her reaction to be anger or rage but as he watched her body language he was shocked to find her surprised and a little happy. What had he done? Where had he gone wrong? He didn't want her to like him! He wanted her to go away! "Leave."

With a small smile the girl stood and exited the room. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru." Was the last thing he heard from her before she left his sight. What an odd creature.

Slowly, as she grew further away from him, he heard a sound in the distance. Lulling and sweet. He closed his eyes for the briefest of moments before he opened them wide with realization. She was humming again!

Kagome entered Rin's room and looked around in a pleased manner. It was much cleaner than before and Rin was now awake, sitting in her bed looking bored. When the child saw her she grinned. "Kagome! Was that you singing? It was so pretty! Is Kagome here to make Rin better now?" As the child continued her constant questions Kagome smiled at her and began to dig through her pack. Finding a bottle of pink liquid she shook it furiously before measuring a dose in a dropper and coming over to Rin. The child stared at the substance curiously. "What is that?"

She motioned the dropper towards Rin's mouth and then squirted it all in. Rin's face fell into shock. "Eww! That's gross!" Kagome couldn't help but laugh. "Kagome please don't make me take any more of that!" With a shake of her head she set the bottle down and picked up a can and a can opener, setting to the task of opening the food. "I'm sorry, Rin. It's horrible tasting, I know, but you have to have it. It's medicine that will help you get better." She finished opening the can and placed it in a small cooking pot. Turning towards the doorway she called out for Jaken and then handed him the pot when he arrived. "Have the cook add a little water to it and then warm it up a little, not too hot so it doesn't burn the tounge. Then bring it back here for Rin." The toad nodded and ran off to the kitchens wondering what sort of medicine this was. Kagome turned to Rin and smiled. "I hope you like chicken noodle soup!"

The girls talked while they waited for Jaken to return and when he did with the warmed liquid and a slice of bread Kagome couldn't help but comment on his thoughtfulness. While Rin ate Kagome told her stories, jokes, and sang songs to keep the child entertained. Their giggles could be heard through the halls and, in one resounding sigh, the members of the household felt a giant weight lift off their souls. Rin would be all right.

Meanwhile... a certain lord sat in his study, eyes closed and head turned to the side as he listened. Somehow the little miko had not heard a word he had said to her and yet had understood completely what he meant. 


	3. Chapter Three: I don't see you, but

Chapter Three: I don't see you, but...

It was cold. The crickets could be heard down below in their grassy homes, singing their serenade to the night for all to hear. But there was nobody to hear them except one.. a miko woman-child who lay upon a sleeping bag next to a child's futon, staring silently at the child. Kagome watched as Rin's chest rose and fell slowly, and only slightly at an abnormal rhythm. It had been two weeks. She had administered the first bottle of medicine that her mother had.. somehow.. obtained for the child. As she lay there she remembered her mother and what she had said to her about maternal instinct. She hadn't truly understood then. How could she, a mere teenager and mother to none, really understand what it felt like to care for your ailing child? Tonight, she finally understood. She hadn't slept much over the past fourteen nights. Many nights she would sleep for a few hours only to awaken to Rin's coughs. Or she would wake from the sheer cold of the room and crawl over to the shivering child, holding her and trying her best to protect the delicate flesh from the bitter air. Through her stay here she had hardly left the room, only to bathe and take care of her hygeine needs. She couldn't do Rin good if she became ill, too.

She had come to love Rin and was scared. Scared of the truth. Scared of the future. But also excited. Once the child was well she could watch, if nothing else, as she grew into the excited young woman that Kagome knew she would be. She could watch as Rin tormented her father-figure through puberty and then through finding a husband and eventually with children of her own. It would be so wonderful to know that she would have such a life. Happy and free… on the other hand.

Her heart constrained with the idea of the girl getting better. It was a bittersweet idea. She had become attached to the girl as if she really were her own and somehow she felt Rin had done the same. A tear escaped her eye and she thought of the reaction rin would have when Sesshomaru forced her out of her life. She could hope that he might allow her to visit but knew that it was only wishful thinking. Rin shivered and Kagome sighed, crawling onto the futon to lift the child into her lap, wrapping the blanket around them both. With a wary face she looked up and gave a broken smile at Jaken who slept, sitting against the wall next to the door. Her eyes adjusted to the change in light and she looked beyond the door and down into the long corridor. That dark and hollow corridor. It seemed to echo how Kagome felt her life was at times; a never ending journey. Journey to what, she might never know. Suddenly a shift in the light caused her to stare further into the hall. Something was there. In her mind she cursed her female genes from keeping her night vision at a low. What was out there? It couldn't be something harmful, could it? Not within the home of the western lord! Not possible. So.. what?

Kagome's brow furrowed with confusion, sure she had seen something. Then it happened again. A shift of grey on grey. As soon as it had been there.. it was gone. She sighed a little and pulled the child closer to her. Unsure what might be there but just as uncertain that she wanted to go and investigate. Forcing her gaze away from the corridor she turned to the window to look out into the sky. The moon was still high. It was probably early, 2 in the morning or so. With a sigh Kagome turned her gaze back to the child in her arms, running a hand through her sweat-mottled hair. She would miss her so much.

InuYasha turned a little in his sleep in discomfort. Some weight was pushing on him uncomfortably and he couldn't seem to shake it. Cracking one eye open he looked down to find Shippo curled into him, asleep. What was the runt doing here? Oh yeah. Kagome was gone. He usually slept with her. InuYasha sighed a little and stretched out, lifting the kit so that he was in his arms comfortably. He only acted harsh to the kid because that was how he had been treated. There was nothing wrong with him now, so why not let the kid grow a backbone too? He knew Kagome felt for the kid, though, she comforted him like a big sister and watched him like a mother hen.

But there was no Kagome to comfort with. She was off caring for somebody else's child. InuYasha couldn't help but frown a little, hoping that she was okay. Looking up at the moon he sighed. "Come back to us, Kagome. We all need you." It was barely a whisper but it hung in the air so heavy with emotion that InuYasha was afraid the girl may never hear his plea.

Looking back down at Shippo he tightened his hold on the child and closed his eyes, allowing sleep to overcome him. He would replace Kagome in any way he could for the kid, just so that when she came back things would be normal.

Sesshomaru couldn't sleep. It had only been the third day that he had missed sleep and while he was a youkai it was beginning to show. Unlike the common misconception all creatures required some sleep. He was not above that. Unfortunately, it seemed that as of late his mind could not keep off the miko who was caring for Rin. He had not seen her since their meeting in his study. That had been well over ten days ago and he was growing curious as to Rin's condition as well as how the emotions were going between the child and her caretaker. He was concerned for Rin, no doubt. The child would get so far attached to the human woman that there would be little he could do without breaking the girl's fragile feelings. She was a child, she would get over it quickly. It sometimes amazed him how human children quickly bounced back.

But that didn't mean he had to like it. He hated being both the "good guy" and the "bad guy" for Rin. It was frustrating and so unlike the other relationships in his life. As much as he tried to convince himself that it was only Rin that consumed his thoughts he was very bad at lying, especially to himself. Kagome. She was interesting. He often would find himself neglecting his work while in his study and instead listening intently to one of her many stories that she told Rin. Stories of amazing places and ingenious inventions that even he had never heard; the stories that seemed to captivate him and Rin the most were her stories of epic love. It was amazing how passionate this slip of a woman would be with mere words. In his mind he could see her face as she spoke, the emotions riding her body like the waves in the sea.. first soft and then harsh and commanding, overpowering her tiny form before she could do nothing but relinquish to them. The wistful tone in her voice spoke volumes to him. He was not naive. She was lonely in a way that only a woman could be and only a man could rescue her. Rin was learning this trait from this woman. The trait that all females learned from other females; Longing for companionship and what Kagome termed "commitment".

Humans were strange creatures but rather predictable. However one enigma never seemed to throw him off, the female. Regardless of their species they were all confusing, contradictory, and completely dependent. It was exhausting and yet somehow they all seemed to make their victims feel it was worthwhile. Even he, Sesshomaru, had fallen into the trap of a human girl and was forever chained to her. And he found himself happy with that idea; Rin was never something he would view as a burden, regardless of how he had to act. He got up from his futon and threw on a light outer haori for mere covering, not bothering to tie it. He found himself in the halls, padding down them while in thought as he often did. Kagome. Where had that woman been? He had recieved reports from Jaken that she was not sleeping or eating much at all. A few pieces of bread or cheese here and there, a glass of milk, an hour nap... nothing substantial. So he was surprised when she had not come down into the dining hall to eat during lunch or had not requested a futon of her own to sleep. She did bathe and she did wash her clothes continually, probably to keep herself from becoming ill. Yet, she did not ask for anything to make the job easier. It amazed him. He truly thought that she would run down, screaming her head off for some kind of comfort or assistance.

At the end of the hall he stopped. A scent, faint but sure. Salt. Tears. A human was crying. Rin? He looked up and noticed he was at the opposite end of the hall which led to the child's room. Looking down the hall he saw an image he would never forget. A woman holding a child close to her breast in an attempt to protect her from all; her face looked up towards him, dark circles under her eyes and a hollow expression on her face as her brow furrowed. With the motion of the skin a reflection was seen and he watched in awe as the tear slid down the woman's face. Kagome. He had never seen her like this and he wasn't sure anyone ever had. She looked pale and thin and.. empty. But so full of her love for the child that she also looked..

Beautiful.

He knew she could not see him and so he turned, quickly, and left the hall to return to his room. He honestly hoped she would leave soon.

Once he was gone Kagome looked up again. She was still wary of whatever might be there. Stretching out with what little senses she had she only had a feeling of strength and quiet. So quiet. She set her lips into a grim smile on her face. Somehow, she knew who it was. "I can't see you but I know you're there." She whispered softly. ..Nobody was there to hear her. 


	4. Chapter Four: I don’t care about you, bu...

Chapter Four: I don't care about you, but...

Jaken couldn't help the look on his face. He was completely in awe. Lord Sesshomaru had just given him a task which he still did not quite understand. He motioned to a couple maids and told them what to do; they too seemed surprised but quickly ran off to complete the job. Once they were gone he went to speak to Kagome. Bowing with his nose almost touching the ground he spoke. "Miko Kagome, please excuse me from my duties for a short while today. Another will be here soon to assist you. Lord Sesshomaru has demanded that he need my services today." Before she could respond he turned and practically ran down the hall, hurried to get the job done before the day was through. Sesshomaru had made it quite clear what the consequences were if he were to botch up.

Kagome sat still, looking towards the empty doorway and blinking in curious wonder. Her hands were in the motion of brushing through Rin's hair that had her teddy in her lap and was talking to it in a sing-song voice. "Rin wonders what Lord Sesshomaru had Jaken go to do! Don't you teddy? Yes? Me too!" Kagome laughed at the child's antics and placed the brush down. She stood and went to the door before turning to Rin. "I need to go do something, Rin. Stay here, please. Try to practice some of your reading like I was teaching you." Rin nodded and turned to a book that was next to the futon, eyeing it warily. Kagome smiled and turned down the hall with a now determined and mildly bothered look on her face. She stormed down the hall, back firm and fists clenched. Staff members through the house glanced at her with a worried look on their face. Usually the miko was calm and happy, what could have upset her so much? And where was she going? Was she leaving for good? A man, stationed outside a pair of heavy looking doors glanced out of his side view towards the girl marching to him.

"Kagome, Miko and caretaker of the Ward Rin, requests an audience with Lord Sesshomaru." The man opened his mouth about to protest with some excuse given to him by the lord when the woman held a finger up, silencing him, and spoke in a firm tone that only his mother had used. "Immediately."

His mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air before Kagome rolled her eyes, fed up and brushed past him, shoving the doors open wide; only to be met with Sesshomaru, seated in his chair behind his desk, and two young female youkai seated on cushions before the desk looking at her with wide questioning eyes. It was Sesshomaru that spoke first. "Could I inquire as to why you insisted to intrude upon my meeting? I am sure the guard attempted to tell you that I was busy." He added weight to the words "attempted" and "busy" and Kagome felt her face flush in an embarrassed blush. She wanted to run. Now. Get out and not look back. This was almost as bad as school cafeteria style embarrassment. Only worse. She looked over at the two ladies, one an inu and the other a wolf, smiling at them before she turned her gaze to Sesshomaru who seemed to have no facial expression whatsoever. His eyes were dancing, though. He thought it was funny! Her embarrassment was humorous to him!

If it weren't for how undignified it would have made him out to be Sesshomaru probably would have started laughing. Hard. It would figure that the first time he had seen her for days, aside from the previous night, and she would completely make a fool of herself. Unfortunately for him her impulsive nature jumped a notch or two and instead of fleeing in mortification she marched over to him, anger on her face, and pointed a finger at him, waving it accusingly. "Why did you send Jaken on an errand when you know I need him to help with Rin! You have hundreds of people that you could get to do things for you and instead you take the only help you decided to give me!" She was yelling and angry and the two women were gaping at the girl. Here was a human girl and she was yelling at the lord of the western lands in his own home! Sesshomaru rose to his feet, Kagome's gaze following his face. He frowned down at her and almost growled in total agitation. What the hell was her problem? Was she insane? He had guests and here she was trying to make him the fool!

"Miko. Dare you yell at me again and I would not wish to be you." He said as he leaned in closer, teeth gritting as he forced the words out. Her eyes widened and she gasped when his face lowered to look down on her. She could feel his raspy breathing on her forehead and knew by the look in his eyes that he was angry. Instinct told her to run. Now. Far away so that self-preservation would be something she could claim to have achieved. Reason told her that she should apologize and just go back up to Rin.

But who listened to instinct or reason?

Inhaling sharply she jabbed her finger into his chest, staring him down as an equal. His intimidation tactics would not work on her! "How dare you threaten me? You're the one making it harder to heal the child! I'm trying to do my job and here you go taking the only help I've got to go on some whim of yours! What is so important that Rin's health has to be sacrificed?" Absently she heard one of the females behind her utter something that sounded oddly like "Oh my god." Apparently she and Sesshomaru were making quite a show. Turning her head to the two ladies she saw them gaping at the two, one was almost laughing and the other was so shocked she could hardly breathe. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at the two ladies. "Do you mind!" The women gasped and quickly jumped, running out of the room. Kagome heard a growl and then felt as two hands grasped her shoulders, turning her body to look in his face.

"Don't address people in my home like that!" He yelled in her face, nose to nose, both trying to prove better than the other. Kagome frowned and half pointed back to where the ladies had gone. "They were staring!" She yelled in return. The two ladies and the guard were standing outside the doors, listening and wondering just what was going on. They sounded like children!

Sesshomaru couldn't believe her! She had completely gone mad! That was the only logical reason for her totally insane behavior. "They are my guests and they are ladies! You were the one who barged in here unannounced and uninvited!" He growled again and shoved her away, pushing her slightly towards the cushions that were just vacated. "Sit down, Kagome." Surprisingly, she did as he said and sat on the cushion, an odd look on her face. "Jaken should not be long. His task is important and I wanted it taken care of with efficiency. He knows what needs to be done better than anyone else in my employ so I chose him, as the best option, to assure that this task was completed. Now.. I have something I must request of you."

Kagome looked up at him, silent and unsure what he was going to say. Probably going to tell her never to run in his study again or to leave and not come back or something along those lines, she thought in despair. He noticed the shift in her moods and sighed, audibly. What a nuisance. She was kind of fun to argue with, though. He smiled a little and only stopped when he heard her gasp. "I need you to prepare Rin. She is well enough to attend and her presence is important. There is going to be a dinner held tonight here in my home. It was set to be in the East but due to Rin's ailing I had requested to do this myself. You will prepare Rin appropriately. That is all. You may go now." He turned away from her to look through his books as if he was searching for some key to the feminine mind or other unknown fact of life and she sighed. Dismissed.

Standing she went to the door and left, passing the two women and the guard who were giving her curious stares. Who was this girl and how was she still living?

Sango heard the voice before the others and looked up from her weapon to see Jaken standing before them all. They were sitting outside Kaede's hut, all trying to keep occupied until they could return to major shard hunting. Her face lit up and she smiled at the toad, which reacted with an uncertain face. "Has there been word from Kagome? Is she well? Is she coming back?" Jaken shook his head to the negative and the woman's face fell slightly. He cleared his throat and sighed. "You are.. Sango?" Her eyes widened and she nodded. "I need your help." He said, softly so that others might not hear.

"What can I do for you?" She asked, curious and a little wary. She didn't trust this toad as far as could throw him.. and that was pretty far.

It was late afternoon when Jaken returned. He entered the room to find Kagome discussing with Rin the proper behavior that was expected of her at such events. Rin, to the surprise of the toad, was listening intently and seemed to be truly learning. He was glad, perhaps she would not make a spectacle of herself.

He set several packages on the ground near the inside of the doorway and bowed low to Kagome. "Miko Kagome, this lowly Jaken has returned from his duty. Lord Sesshomaru has requested that you now dress Rin so that she may go with him to be introduced."

Kagome had found, mended, and prepared a lovely two layer kimono for Rin to wear for the festivities and picked it up, signaling for Rin to come over. Dressing Rin was easy to do, she opted not to decorate her hair with much other than a small pin which looked like a flower, pulling her hair up. So, in a moment, the child was ready.

Jaken grunted his approval and nodded to Rin. "Rin. Go downstairs and meet with Lord Sesshomaru. He is waiting for you now." The child squealed with glee and ran out the door in a whirl, completely forgetting anything else. Kagome could not help but smile and then reached over to pick up her novel she had been reading through her stay.

When she heard a shuffling and a slight cough Kagome glanced up, thinking Rin had returned for something. Instead Jaken stood there and motioned for her to follow him. Curious, Kagome did and found herself entering the room directly adjacent to Rin's. It had been cleaned and a fresh futon was placed in the center. A small vanity with a seat was near the window and a chest was on the opposite side of the room.

"This will be your room from now on. Please dress and come downstairs. Lord Sesshomaru is waiting." Jaken turned to leave and before he did he said something most peculiar. "My lord insisted that I tell you that none of this means that he cares for your well being. He is only worried for Rin's concerns for you."

Kagome gasped when she opened the trunk to find several elaborate kimonos. Turning in a rush she meant to thank Jaken but he was already gone. 


	5. Chapter Five: I don't trust you, but

Chapter Five: I don't trust you, but...

Sesshomaru was getting impatient. Jaken had returned some time ago to tell him that the miko had received his message and should be down shortly.

So where was she!

Rin was driving him absolutely crazy. Her constant moving and chattering belied her feeling even remotely ill and he had to wonder if leaving her home while he went to the dinner wouldn't have been such a bad thing. No. She was, in all right except blood, his daughter. The entire court knew this and so her presence was expected. He growled low in his throat and mumbled something about women taking forever to dress. He vaguely remembers his father making the same complaint. Before his mind could wander to how he might punish the disobedient female he heard steps coming around the corner. Turning his attention to there he was shocked to find a very well dressed Kagome come from around the corner.

Where in the seven hells did InuYasha find this woman? She was a miko, so it was known that she would have strength and patience but her passion and spirit along with her complete understanding of what others around her expected of her showed a knowledge that no human should ever possess. He watched her carefully as she walked over to him, head bowed slightly but not so much where she would trip or run into anyone. When she met up with him she smiled up at him and then bowed low. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru. I.." She bit her lip slightly and then sighed, eyes darting with undetermined emotion. "I apologize." No more needed to be said. He knew and she knew. They were adults enough to let the matter drop.

Rin danced over to Kagome and giggled furiously. "Kagome looks like a princess!" The older girl blushed and looked down at Rin. "Why, Rin! So do you!" At this they both burst into giggles and Rin took Kagome's hand, leading her to their place behind Sesshomaru. It was obvious that she had done this before, though never with somebody by her. Somebody from up ahead announced their entrance and she was shocked when she heard it. "Lord Sesshomaru, ruler of the western lands and all the peoples within! Accompanied by Lady Rin, ward of the western lord, and Lady Kagome, respected ally of the western lord!" The man's voice echoed through the hall and people applauded for the entering lord. Several people rushed up to greet them and soon Kagome found herself assualted with questions.

The hand that had been in hers had left some time ago, somewhere in the back of her mind Kagome remembered the child mentioning a drink of water. There were ladies and lords alike, all questioning Kagome as if she were under some sort of inquisition. One lady stepped up and looked down at Kagome over her nose. She was familiar, oh yes, the inu woman who had been in Sesshomaru's study earlier. The woman frowned and said in a very heavy voice: "So. You still continue to live. I wonder what sort of amusements you provide that would cause Lord Sesshomaru to keep you here after such an outburst." What she implied was obvious. Everyone was a little bothered by such a distasteful subject but it was clear to Kagome that it was something that was on everyone's mind. She frowned and looked up at the woman, smiling and holding out her hand in greeting. "Hello. I don't believe we were properly introduced. I am Kagome Higurashi, Miko. Pleased to make your acquaintance." She put extra emphasis on the word "miko" to give way to the fact that purifying demons did not bother her in the least. Some of the youkai in the area stepped back slightly. Most did not, including the inu woman. She sneered at Kagome and blew at an imaginary loose hair in her face. "I see no need to introduce myself to one in such a.. position.. as you but I suppose I can humor you. I am Lady Aya, Daughter of the Northern Lord." She did not take Kagome's hand. "So, little miko, enlighten us on just how you have enraptured our lord of the west. Ladies for many years have been trying to obtain his attention and yet, you, a smelly little human seem to do it so well." She was trying her best to insult Kagome and everyone around her seemed to feel that she was going make the girl run off crying.

Instead Kagome smiled a huge beaming grin at the inu woman and batted her eyes in a show of over dramatized flattery. "Why thank you Lady Aya! I think that is the sweetest thing I have heard come out of your mouth in the whole time I have known you! To think that I could have such an amazing hold on Lord Sesshomaru? Wow!" She sighed and rolled her eyes, intent on pushing past the woman when a voice from behind her stopped her in her tracks.

"Yes indeed, Kagome. What exactly is it about you that I seem to find amusing?" Everyone turned to see Sesshomaru standing there, Rin in tow, smirking. Everyone except Kagome; who shook with a bit of fear and couldn't seem to find the ability to turn and look at him. She was silent. So he continued for her. "Perhaps these good people should really know the nature of our relationship?" He said it in such a way.. such a voice.. that gave way to imagination and everyone assumed the worst. They thought that they were lovers. That she was some sort of.. slut. Kagome lowered her eyes and fought hard not to cry. Asshole. Then she turned on him, eyes ablaze as she reached out her hand and smacked him across the face. The room went silent. The echo of the clap could be heard through the room and nothing else.

Kagome shook with rage, teeth bared and eyes wide, her hand still in the air. "How dare you?" And then she ran. People parted both ways for her to flee, still in shock over her action towards someone as deadly and feared as Sesshomaru.

Rin whimpered beside Sesshomaru. She didn't understand what was going on. Why was Kagome hitting Lord Sesshomaru? She looked up, ready to ask, when someone cut her off. "Oh! Lord Sesshomaru! That horrid girl hitting you like that!" Lady Aya rushed up to him and bowed slightly before rising, not waiting for a response. "Why do you have such a disrespectful human under your service, my lord? Certainly there are others who could keep you better amused!" She said this with an air of certainty, she knew there were, she was one of them after all! She had always had a crush on Sesshomaru since childhood, everyone knew of it and everyone knew that he didn't really even look at her. But Aya continued on, tormenting any female that the lord might show any interest in, and everyone let her have her way. Usually nobody did anything about it. So all were a little surprised when Sesshomaru walked up to her and glared. "Never speak to Kagome again."

Someone came up to stand next to him then, the wolf girl who had also been in the study earlier. She sighed a little and looked at him with a sad face. "But.. Lord Sesshomaru. It was you who hurt her, not Aya." Sesshomaru looked up at her, shocked. Was this true? Had his joking really upset her more than Aya's hurtful remarks? Thinking back on it he could see why she might be upset but he had never meant it that way. He was trying to rescue her from the grips of the vicious Aya so that she could once again take Rin off his hands. Couldn't she see that?

With a frown he looked up at the wolf again. "Lady Motoko, if you would please take Rin for me. I must speak with the other lords." The girl nodded and grasped the girl's hand. Looking sadly after the man as he wandered off, still with a confused face. "Poor Lord Sesshomaru. He became lord so young and grew up so fast. Now he can't even see things when they're right in front of him." Aya turned to her with a disgusted look on her face. "What do you mean Motoko? You can't possibly think that girl really means anything!" The wolf rolled her eyes. Aya had been her friend since childhood, as, in a way, had been Sesshomaru. But she could never get over how dense Aya could be sometimes or how coarse. "Aya! You should really be ashamed. You are a lady and shouldn't say things like you did." Aya grumbled but followed her friend as she led the little girl through the crowd. What was with people? Getting all upset over nothing.

Kagome threw herself onto her futon, wrinkling the silk of her kimono in the process. She couldn't help it. What he had said hurt so badly. To think that she was beginning to believe that he had a heart! What with the gifts and consideration without any request from her and after her actions earlier he had still given them to her. It was only natural for her to assume that there was a smidgen of respect growing between them.

She found herself looking in the vanity mirror, small as it was and badly lighted she could see her face with tears streaming down. How could he be so kind one moment and then so rude? How could she have ever believed that she might be able to trust him to not hurt her?

Kagome had never been afraid of Sesshomaru physically. She knew he would not kill her. It simply wasn't worth his time. Yet, she knew that he could easily hurt her in other ways. He was a cunning man with a sharp wit and he knew how to make words and actions demolish the spirit.

He did it to InuYasha all the time! Why should she be exempt? Fresh tears erupted from her eyes. "And why are you so upset?" She practically ground it out to her own reflection. It made no sense to her. She wasn't here to make him happy! She was here to make sure Rin was healthy!

With a slight grunt she lifted herself off the floor and turned to the trunk. She had only put on the first kimono she had found, knowing that Sesshomaru would get impatient if she took the time to dress up. Now she had other plans.

Pulling her sleeves up she set to work. Nobody made a fool of Kagome Higurashi and got away with it. Not even Lord Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru sat within his study, a glass of sake in his hands as he laughed with the other lords. It felt good to be away from the others in this room with the smell of burning incense and the hearty voices of the men in the air. These men were all like fathers to him in some way or another.

Well, except Koga. He hadn't even bothered to show up yet. Probably prowling the room for some unsuspecting female, the silly twit. He was a great leader but he had no real staying power with the ladies.

One of the men, the lord of the North, turned to Sesshomaru and smiled. "So! When are you going to marry my crazy daughter so I can get rid of her!" He was joking and everybody knew it so they all laughed. He always asked Sesshomaru that.

"I'm sorry, Lord Keiji, I must decline your offer. You will have to put up with her some more. Perhaps Lord Koga could sweep her off her feet and take her for both of us?" He smirked and the elder man laughed a little but shook his head.

"I'm afraid that won't do, my boy. It appears that your little miko friend has captured the attention of Lord Koga completely. I believe he is seeking her at this moment. When she ran off he looked quite shocked to see her, as if he had known her already." The older man said and the other man, Lord Yasuo, nodded in agreeance.

Sesshomaru looked concerned. Koga knew Kagome? How? Perhaps they had met while she traveled with InuYasha. Koga did often speak of meeting with the mutt and having little bouts of fun at his expense. Could that be what he had meant?

Lord Yasuo looked at Sesshomaru with a small smile. "Ah. Keiji, it appears that our young apprentice has found himself in a predicament. The lady seems interested but bothered and probably does not even know that she is in the running. And here goes Koga, off to save the day for him and ruin it for Sesshomaru!" He dramatically placed a hand over his heart firmly and Keiji laughed at his antics.

"To be young again and with such troubles; I'd give my left arm." They didn't miss Sesshomaru's glare and started laughing even harder.

Suddenly all three had their attention turned back to the hall where the mass of courtiers had been left to their own devices. Apparently there was a large commotion going on. 

Kagome stood in the doorway to the hall, tall and proud. She may not trust Sesshomaru but she'd be damned if she'd allow him to disrespect her in such a manner.

She walked, purposefully but gracefully towards Motoko and smiled, bowing slightly. "Excuse me." She said in only a slight whisper, knowing the girl could hear her, and held out her hand for Rin to take.

The child jumped into her arms and Kagome hugged her fiercely. Then Rin said what everyone was thinking. "Wow! Now you really look like a princess Kagome!" 


	6. Chapter Six: I don't fear you, but

Chapter Six: I don't fear you, but…

Kagome blushed and laughed at the little girl. "She's right, you know." A familiar voice said and she turned to look. Gasping she smiled and ran to him, giving him a hug.

"Koga! I didn't know you would be here! I guess you could say the same for me!" She laughed and he smiled, nodding but not letting his hands leave her waist. "How have you been? How are the others?"

He laughed as she bombarded him with questions and everyone around watched in amusement as the girl seemed to spring to life the moment Koga had come into view. They all wondered how they had met or how they knew each other. "Of course I am here. This was supposed to be held at my place, actually, but Lord Sesshomaru requested that it be here. He said there were, eh, important matters which he could not leave for. Now I think I know what those are."

Kagome blushed hard and looked upset. "Why does everyone assume that!" Koga couldn't help but laugh again. He shook his head and pulled her closer.

"Don't worry Kagome. When this is over you can come home with me if you'd like. You are my woman, after all." That got some attention. Especially of a certain western lord. This was new information, indeed. Kagome had not mentioned that there was a claim on her. She had not mentioned that she would have duties of a mate to attend to over Rin. That bothered him.

Why is the ultimate question.

He stepped over to the two, watching as Kagome tried her best to push Koga away from her. Reaching out he grasped her arm and yanked her away in one swift motion, effectively putting her behind him.

She inhaled sharply, shocked, and spun around with the momentum to face his back. "Don't jerk me around like that! I'm not your property, you know!"

His back when rigid and she could hear Koga snickering from beyond. With a slight growl Kagome stepped to the side of Sesshomaru and pointed an accusing finger at the wolf. "I'm not yours either!" With complete exasperation Kagome thrust her hands into the air and marched off to get Rin. "Men! Annoying! Arrogant! Assuming! Argh!"

The Northern and Southern Lords looked very amused from the sidelines. "It appears that neither of these young men will have a chance now." One of them, nobody knew which, said. They both laughed and walked up to the other lords. Koga nodded to them both respectfully but Sesshomaru was still silent. He hadn't said anything to anybody or done anything since he had yanked Kagome from Koga.

That was what had done it. He had seen what she had done to herself. Her face was painted in such a way that made her appear glowing with life. The golden colored kimono she wore was layered with black and cream kimonos below it in such a fashion that she appeared to be a goddess. And her hair was wavy now. Not the unruly waves that she normally had. It was curled in a ringlet style and poured down her shoulders.

He had upset her and she had reacted by coming back in full force and style. And he was speechless.

Without saying a word he turned and went back to his study to mull over his most recent thoughts and feelings. He had learned a lot about Kagome over the past few weeks but he was only beginning to realize the depth of her person.

InuYasha grumbled to himself. They wouldn't leave him alone and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why they felt he had to do this. Adjusting his clothes he ran a hand through his hair and checked his reflection in the water. They had made him bathe.

Annoying.

He had received an invitation to one of those quarterly meetings of the court. He always got one. Well, if they could find him or if he wasn't frozen to a tree, that is. This year it was going to be held in the West.

They weren't far from there. Only a little over half a day's trek. Everyone insisted that they go. He had an invitation! It was the perfect way to see Kagome! Sure, he'd love to go see her, but he was really afraid of the others.

Courtiers were not friendly. He tried to explain this to the group but they continued to pressure him. So, that night, they all bathed and prepared for the day to come. They would start in the morning and then trek with as few breaks as possible.

Estimation said that they would be there by mid evening, just after the party began. So they figured Kagome should be alone by then.

Little did they know.

Koga frowned. Something was wrong with this. Sesshomaru seemed awfully possessive of Kagome and really moody. Everyone seemed to be under the impression that Kagome and Sesshomaru had some sort of tension going on, specifically of the sexual nature. It was completely stupid, in his mind.

Kagome would never go for Sesshomaru and vice versa. They were too different. Besides, they didn't know each other! Somewhere in the back of his head a voice was telling him that he didn't really know her either but he ignored it.

The announcer hit his staff on the ground twice, creating a hush as he called out the newcomer. What he said would send the entire court into a frenzy. "Announcing! Lord InuYasha, second born son of the western house!" He did not announce the others.

InuYasha stepped into the room, practically being shoved by the others. Koga glared at him and bared his teeth. "Finally decided to show up, eh, dog breath?" Some of the audience snickered until they heard a woman scream.

"InuYasha!" Kagome cried out to him and ran, pushing past the others and hiking up her skirts on her way across the room. The boy's ears twitched atop his head, trying to find the direction the girl was in so that he could run to her.

She pushed through the crowed and pounced on him, laughing in complete glee. "InuYasha! I missed you so much!" He laughed, also, and hugged her before setting her on her own two feet.

"Lady Kagome! You look breathtaking!" Miroku stood to the side of Sango with Shippo on his shoulders, admiring the view of her. Sango nodded. "Yeah, that toad really does have an eye for material. I was wondering why he was asking for your figures and favorite colors."

Kagome blushed at that thought but soon it faded and she held her arms up, awaiting the little kitsune. He did not fail her and jumped into her arms, burying his head within her hair. "Kagome! Why couldn't I come to stay with you Kagome! You're so much softer than InuYasha."

Everyone laughed at the kit's comment. The laughter quickly died down, however. The announcer had again hit the ground with his staff. Dinner had been served. Kagome and the others began talking animatedly as they followed the others to the dining room.

However, when they reached the doorway they were stopped. A young boy came up to Kagome and bowed low, then took her hand and led her away without another word. Obviously, seating was arranged. Kagome frowned and looked back at her friends, waving slightly. Soon she found herself sitting on a pillow next to a traditional table. Across from her sat Rin and she smiled at the child. Next to Rin's left sat the Lord of the North and then Aya. Next to Kagome on the right sat the Lord of the South and then Makoto.

None of this surprised her. But when Sesshomaru came to sit next to her left at the end of the table was when Kagome realized something had to be horribly wrong with this picture.

He turned his amber gaze onto her and gave her a look that said: Be polite, be obedient, and be quiet. Or else. It also was soft, though, as if he were begging her to be on her best behavior as he knew she could. Somehow, he was trying to win her good graces back.

Kagome looked away, down at her empty plate, at Rin, anywhere but at him and those eyes. He sensed her discomfort and frowned slightly. Turning to gesture to the boy who had led her here he whispered something to the boy and then nodded.

The boy walked up to Kagome and took her hand, leading her away. She soon found herself seated next to InuYasha and Sango, all the way at the other end of the table.

She blushed slightly and looked back at her plate, a little ashamed. He had now completely embarrassed himself for her own comfort. Everyone would wonder why the lady who he had chosen for his dinner company was moved to sit at the end of the table.

Looking down at the table she saw him, talking to someone, and then he glanced at her for a moment. She smiled and wordlessly thanked him before turning to Sango to discuss what was now dubbed the "Jaken's Clothing Spree" experience.

It seemed that nobody but Sesshomaru knew. Kagome was not afraid of him in the least. She was terrified. 


	7. Chapter Seven: I don't encourage you, bu...

Chapter Seven: I don't encourage you, but…

Dinner had gone smoothly. Sesshomaru could hear Kagome's laughter at the other end of the room while she bantered on with his brother. In a way, he was glad they had come. While in his study he had taken the time to go over his feelings.

He was discovering something that he had not really given much thought to. He liked Kagome. As a friend, certainly, and as a caretaker for Rin, absolutely; but it was not that way. For the past few weeks he had grown accustomed to her presence in his home.

If she were to go away, what then? He didn't even want to consider how he might feel then.

At that moment, Sesshomaru, had come to a decision. He would try to please her, in any way he could. Hoping that she would at least be affectionate to him, in some sense; if they could not be more then they could not. Wait. More? What was he thinking again?

Mentally he turned it over in his head, this way and that, finding that it settled into him, spreading warmth in his heart. He didn't mind. It was shocking. How had this come to be?

Well. He had always held a begrudging respect for her. And, let's see. He trusted her as far as one could trust a human and a woman. Oh. Right. That night. He had seen into her soul. She had been blinding and had called out to him, anyone, to rescue her from the pain.

And in response… he had felt his soul calling back. Answering hers in a way he could not comprehend.

Kagome had already taken the role of Rin's mother and it was so natural, too. She just… fell into place. Could it be that she was falling into another role without their knowing?

Earlier. In the study. She hadn't run away and had stared him down. They had been so close, screaming in each other's faces. It was exhilarating. So much that he had thought of arguing again, just to feel that emotion within him.

Somehow, he knew. Kagome was essential to him now.

The crowd of people entered into the dance hall now. Apparently they always had a dance as it gave people time to mingle and enjoy themselves.

Kagome groaned a little. She knew InuYasha would not dance with her. She didn't think he even knew how. So, she stood, next to him and fidgeted nervously as the couples danced around the room. Sango and Miroku had already waltzed off into the mass of people. She couldn't even see them anymore.

All at once, time seemed to slow down. She saw a hand, slender but strong, reach out for hers and a voice, calm but powerful, request a dance. Without even looking at whoever it might be she danced a little joyful jig in her head and nodded her assent. Somewhere to her side she heard InuYasha complaining but couldn't make out what he was saying. If he wouldn't dance with her then why should she bother to ask if he cares? She wanted to dance, this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her! Who her partner was didn't matter, right?

Right. Keep telling yourself that, Kagome.

When she was twirled around and drawn into him, feeling his hand rest at her hip and forcefully pull her body to his, she looked up and was shocked. Sesshomaru. He was dancing with her. And not your normal friendly dance either. He was touching her in a way that sent goose bumps up her spine. What was this man doing to her?

He smiled at her open gape and lifted a hand, closing her mouth with a tap to her jaw. "It doesn't set well for a lady to gape so." Her eyes got wider, if it was possible, but he noticed the little flush on her face grow. He smirked in appreciation. Perhaps this night would be fun. "Of course, that's only if you're a proper lady."

And there went that mouth. Off to ruin it. Kagome sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. She wouldn't get mad. She wouldn't get mad. She kept the mantra close to her as she said it over and over in her mind. "Yes, I suppose that's true. I guess you could also say that it's true for a proper lord not to be so rude, but there are always exceptions."

He growled a little and she giggled. Good. Let him have a taste of his own medicine. Jerk. "Yes, that could be true, also. But I really doubt you're one to know of such things. Simple human mind couldn't really understand." He felt her stiffen and then pull back from him.

There was that finger again, along with the glare. He felt his adrenaline rush and he smiled at her. "Did I say something wrong, miko?" Her face went into a scowl and she grumbled under her breath.

"No, of course not. Why would you believe you said anything wrong? I'm too stupid to understand if you do anyway, right!" Her voice had climbed into a yell by the end and everyone had stopped to watch them. In the background they could hear some people laughing and a couple gasping in surprise and one groaning something about "not again…"

Kagome hated an audience. She turned her angry gaze to the onlookers and several shrunk back. Then she turned back to Sesshomaru. "Jerk!" She marched off, out of the room, but not before yelling to the crowd. "Did you have a good show!" Sango and Miroku were laughing outright now. They knew Kagome was always like this. She had grown so temperamental over the years. It was very funny.

InuYasha didn't find it very funny, though. He walked over to Sesshomaru, who was going to go after Kagome, and stopped him. "Hey! Where do you think you're going? Moron. You really know how to piss her off, don't you? I don't think she really wants your company right now."

Several people nodded, though not all. A voice came out from the group. Lord Keiji. "Go after her Sesshomaru. You know they're wrong. She's practically begging for you to follow and if you don't you'll miss your chance!" Quite a few people looked to him, including InuYasha, with confused expressions.

"Chance for what?" The hanyou asked with annoyance. As his attention diverted Sesshomaru cleared the room and ran to catch up with the miko. This fight was not over yet.

Lord Keiji shook his head at the ignorance of youth. "You young people really don't know anything, do you? Isn't it obvious that they're ignoring their feelings? Sure, they don't know each other very well, but that hasn't stopped a lot of happy couples. This is how it starts. If he doesn't take the chance and make a move she won't know he even cares. She won't know that she even cares."

"Wait a moment. Are you saying that you believe that Lady Kagome has feelings for Lord Sesshomaru?" Miroku asked in wonder. "That can't be possible. She's in love with InuYasha."

The Northern Lord looked unphased by this new bit of information. "So? And Koga claims that he's in love with her too. It doesn't seem to have changed much. I can almost bet my entire kingdom that if we locked her in a room with no escape and put Sesshomaru, Koga, and InuYasha in there that by the end of three days she and Sesshomaru would be all over each other. They're a volatile mix, no doubt, but that's part of their staying power. You say that she's in love with InuYasha but it's pretty obvious that he's not in love with her."

Sango looked at him with a bit of curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Keiji laughed. "Because if he did then he wouldn't be standing here now, he'd have gone after Sesshomaru three minutes ago when he snuck past him."

Everyone turned to look at InuYasha who now had a sheepish look on his face. "I never said that I loved her! You just thought that!" He flushed and ran off to hide somewhere.

Sango and Miroku groaned. He never could admit his feelings openly and now he was going to lose her! "What an idiot." They looked down to see Shippo, shaking his head at InuYasha, and had to agree.

"Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!" Kagome roared as she entered her room and slammed the door behind her. She wasn't really sure why she was mad anymore.. just knew that it felt so good. He deserved it either way.

She sat on her futon and mused over her behavior. Somehow he seemed to get such a rise out of her. It really amazed her. Usually she was so calm. Okay. Maybe not. But not this quick, right? Biting her lip she glanced in the mirror and sighed, wiping the makeup off her face with a baby wipe.

Apparently it hadn't worked. Just what she was aiming for, she wasn't sure, but she could see something there, beyond his eyes that she wanted to touch. Something sacred that was unknown and so special. She figured if she could get his attention then many she could open that up, see what was beyond. But he hadn't really looked at her.

She threw the wipe across the room in agitation. What was going on here anyway? He acted as if he had been by her side the entire time she were here, like he knew what she was thinking and feeling. How could he know? He kept himself holed up in that stupid study all the time.

Then she remembered something. The humming. He had told her that he could hear it.. all the way from the study. He had been eavesdropping! The little sneak!

It was at this moment that Sesshomaru entered the room, closing the door behind him. She stood, angry and glared at him. "First off, why the hell are you coming in without knocking or permission or anything? Don't you have any manners? Secondly, I know you were eavesdropping on me and what I told Rin. That's really rude, too! Didn't your mot.."

She never finished. He didn't bother to reply. He simply walked up, grabbed her face in his hands and did the first impulse that came to mind. He kissed her.

Kagome pulled away, infuriated. "Hey! Wait! Who said you cou.." Again. He silenced her with a kiss. He was enjoying the way her lips felt but as she continued to squirm against him he couldn't help but wonder. Lifting his head away from her and breaking the kiss he spoke before she could begin again. "Kagome, do you mind if I kiss you?"

That was it! How could he ask now! "What! Why did yo.." He smirked and dove in on her lips, crushing her body to his and running his hands through her hair. Such passion! A moment or two passed and he gave up, pushing his lips onto hers roughly, begging to be let in. She whimpered against him and he groaned as his tongue found hers.

He felt her fists loosen and her arms drape over his shoulders, tracing through his hair and on his neck. She began to respond to the kiss, moaning slightly, and her skin heated up. Why was he kissing her? She wondered. Did it matter? He was such a good kisser, after all.

Then, he parted from her, fully. She was left, standing in her room and looking at the open door. As he retreated she heard one final phrase. "I win."

He laughed as he heard her scream out. And everyone below heard his laugher ring through the halls. 


	8. Chapter Eight: I don't despise you, but

Chapter Eight: I don't despise you, but…

Sango sat, next to Kagome in her room. She was worried for her friend. When she had come to Kagome's room this morning she seemed to be still sleeping, and apparently from her face she really needed it. Why hadn't Kagome had those dark marks last night? She probably hadn't slept for days! And why was it that she was suddenly sleeping so well? Not that she minded but she was curious.

"Kagome? Could I ask you something?" She watched as her friend jumped a little and fidgeted with her hands nervously. A habit that always gave away that there was something she didn't want to talk about. Sango smiled a little and then asked, without waiting. "What happened between you and InuYasha?"

Amazed, Sango observed how her friend gave away the signal that this was an okay subject to discuss. Somehow, this particular subject had lost to another. Very curious. Kagome let her hands settle in her lap and looked up at Sango with a strained smile on her face.

"About four months ago we met up at the well. I had just come home and he had told me that he would be picking me up alone because he had something he wanted to talk to me about." She sighed a little and shook her head slowly. "Oh, Sango, I was so excited. I could just feel myself tingling with apprehension when I jumped into that well. I was so sure that he was going to ask me to… I don't know.. marry him, be his girlfriend, something! Anything! But.. he didn't. We went to sit under the god tree and we talked. He was very mature about it, which kind of surprised me." She stopped for a moment and then let out a heavy sigh. "He told me that.. he did love me but that it wasn't ever going to be the kind of love that I was looking for. He said that, somewhere out there was a man who was full of the passion I was longing to have aimed at me, but that someone wasn't him. I had cried and I had asked him how he could know that. And he said something that I hadn't considered before. He said." She stopped and bit her lip, remembering a rather painful moment. "He said. Because I have already been in love before, Kagome. That kind of love that you're looking for. It does exist, you just have to be patient for the right guy to come around for you. And I looked at him and I knew. I just knew." Her head lowered a little and she sighed brokenly. "Kikyo. He was talking about Kikyo. He had felt that with her, and at the time I was angry with him for even mentioning it. But we agreed to keep it a secret and just not tell anybody. Everyone assumed that we were together already, it wouldn't help to spill the news that we had never even bothered to get together."

Sango didn't know what to say. She frowned at Kagome and shook her head. "You don't seem as upset about this as I would have thought."

Kagome looked up at her and smiled. "Because I'm not upset. InuYasha was right. I had a crush on him because I believed that he could give me something that he wasn't willing to give. He had already given that part of himself away and so I had to find the one for me. And I'm still looking."

Sango snorted a little and then shook her head in disbelief. "No you're not. And the entire land except you knows it, too." Kagome looked confused at her. "Tell me, Kagome. Why was Sesshomaru laughing last night?"

Well that got the other reaction. Weird. Kagome blushed and looked away, biting into her lip hard. The "I don't want to talk about this" look. Sango sighed and laughed. "It's okay, Kagome. You don't have to tell me."

Kagome smiled at her friend and then she asked what was in the trunk. Sango was surprised to find a dreamy look appear on the girl's face as she went to the trunk and began to show her several expensive kimono's.

"So this is what Jaken had been doing? I had wondered. It was a little strange, really. He asked me what your size was and what sort of comforts a girl of your age might require. I told him that a trunk of clothes, a bed, and a small vanity would probably make you happy. I had actually assumed that he was really asking about Rin, not you, and just using you as a cover-up." She sighed and ran her fingers over the cloth of a blue kimono. "Kagome, do you realize what all this is?"

The girl looked confused and shook her head. "What do you mean, Sango?"

She often forgot that Kagome was not raised with youkai, or even near high society of any kind. Closing her eyes for a moment she thought of the best term she could use. "Kagome. These are courting gifts. You're receiving gifts from an admirer. And it's not from Jaken." She said the last sentence with a little joking air and Kagome laughed a little but stopped short and sit next to her.

"Do you really think so?"

The question hung in the air, unanswered.

Rin wasn't sure what was going on here. She sat in her futon, covered by her blanket and cuddling with her teddy as she read the book Kagome had given her. Cinderella. A weird story but not too far-fetched she guessed.

Every once in a while she would glance up from the top of the pages and look to the corner of the room. There, Lord Sesshomaru sat, eyes closed and quiet. He was waiting for something, maybe?

Then, as she did every morning, Kagome entered the room smiling. "Good morning Rin!" Then she walked over to the girl and held out the dreaded dropper. Rin groaned but swallowed the medicine. Her face turned sour and she stuck her tongue out at Kagome.

Kagome laughed and then smiled at her. "Guess what! I think today would be a good day for you to finally go outside and get some sunshine! It's warm out today so you won't get cold and it doesn't look like rain so we can probably stay out for a while."

Rin squealed and jumped up, rushing to get into an outside set of clothes when she stopped suddenly, remembering something. Kagome watched in amusement until the girl stopped, turning her head to look in the corner of the room.

"What's wrong R.." She didn't finish her sentence. Just looked at him, sitting in the corner, staring at her. She gulped and turned to face him, bowing low. "Good morning, Lord Sesshomaru." He nodded to her and smiled and she turned away, quickly before he could do worse to her.

"Rin. Go change in my room, okay?" The little girl nodded and picked up her clothes, running to the other room. Kagome fidgeted, knowing he was still watching her and turned to the window.

His voice broke the silence. "I figured I should just join you both for you activities today instead of eavesdropping." He said it with a bit of sarcasm and a bit of humor. He obviously thought her discomfort was charming.

"Hey, Kagome, I talked the cook into preparing that picnic lunch you want… oh… hello." Sango had run in, carrying a basket of food and talking to Kagome when she turned to see what the girl was looking at. The western lord looked rather weird in the empty corner of a back room. Sango bowed low, her hair falling over her shoulder, and smiled slightly. "Good morning, Lord Sesshomaru. Will you be joining us today?"

He nodded slightly and she jumped into action. "Okay, Kagome, I have to go talk to the cook again! I need more food! Bye!" She ran, quickly, from the room. It was very apparent that she was uncomfortable around Sesshomaru. Who could blame her?

Lucky for Kagome, Rin came to her rescue. The little girl ran up to Kagome and took her hand, leading her out of the room and down to the gardens. Kagome sighed lightly, knowing that he was right behind her with that look on his face. That look that said "I know something is funny and you don't." she hated that look.

InuYasha smacked Mirkou over the head. "You stupid monk! Don't you think before you act? No wonder she's mad at you. You had this really great evening with her and then that hand has to go botch it up on you!"

Miroku laughed a little and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess I can see where she's coming from but still. She didn't have to hit me so hard. I mean, she knows that hers is the only backside for me!"

The hanyou rolled his eyes at his friend. "Why are you so dumb sometimes?" Miroku looked uncertain about his question until he realized that the ladies were within earshot and had heard everything he said. Oh well.

Kagome was giggling at Miroku's antics. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and listened to her voice carefully. It was nice not bothering to hide that he was listening to her every word anymore. The study got boring.

She threw out a blanket, laying it across the grass and sat upon it, motioning for Rin to sit next to her on one side and Shippo the other. Smiling at them she grabbed the basket that Sango had brought and pulled out some sandwiches for both the children.

Rin smiled and then turned to see the others, well most of them, taking sandwiches of their own. Sesshomaru still stood, behind Kagome, observing.

The young miko turned, but did not fully look at him, and addressed him. "Lord Sesshomaru, if you would like you may sit with us and have some lunch, also. I am sure that Rin would be most pleased if you did." The child looked up at him, beaming with the possibility.

He frowned. She had purposely done that. Knowing that Rin was a true weakness for him. Mechanically he turned and then sat on the edge of the blanket, nearest Rin and nobody else.

Kagome then took a sandwich and smiled, handing it out to him. "Go on, try it. They're good." She was glad she had taught the recipe to Sango. He eyed the food warily, but took it so she wouldn't complain. As he took the sandwich his fingers brushed hers slightly and he heard a small sigh escape her. Shaking the feeling away he held the sandwich before him, and then due to her pressing gaze, bit into it. It was good, but he really wasn't hungry.

She seemed happy, though. So he merely nodded in approval and then turned to Rin. "Rin. Tell me what you have learned from Kagome over the past few days."

The little girl turned to him and began to happily tell him all of her studies. She had learned reading, basic writing, some small arithmetic, and even a little calligraphy. He was impressed, Kagome knew all of this? Humans very rarely learned these things, especially not poor females. How odd. He was pleased, though, that Rin was obtaining this knowledge. She was of the western house and should have a proper education.

Suddenly the girl's face turned dreamy. "The best thing we do, though, is when Kagome tells me her stories! I really love the one, what is it called? Romeo and Juliet. It's so romantic!"

Everyone expected the stoic lord to either not reply or show some negative response. Instead he nodded and said "I agree. It was a lovely tale." Kagome promptly choked on her food.

Sesshomaru looked at her oddly. Sango asked if she was okay and she nodded, drinking some water from a glass before her throat stopped burning. When she looked up she saw that he was still staring at her and she blushed a little.

"Perhaps you could share the tale with the rest, I'm sure they would enjoy it as well."

What could she say to that? At that moment she realized that no matter how odd or infuriating he could be… she could never really hate him. 


	9. Chapter Nine: I don't want you, but

Chapter Nine: I don't want you, but…

It had been another week, now. Kagome had said goodbye to her friends after that evening and had gone right back to the task of caring for Rin.

Not that she minds, she loved Rin so much and being with her was a joy, but as she looked at the bottle in her hands she knew her time was running out. The medicine was nearly all gone.

During the past week she had tried her best to avoid Sesshomaru whenever possible. He was still listening, she knew, and somehow she would rather have it that way. The startling passion they had only served to frighten her more and more. What could she do?

Even stranger were the cryptic messages he had taken to sending her. He knew she was uncomfortable around him and so he had stopped coming around, sending letters to speak with her at odd times of the day and night.

Sometimes she awoke to find three or four letters piled at her doorway with his beautifully crafted handwriting across the envelopes. What was even more amazing was how he would comment on the things she spoke of to Rin, sometimes even things she had spoken of days before. It was as if he were thinking over the matter for a while before he chose to respond, as if he were afraid that if he did not she would think he were weird.

Too late there.

Then something very strange happened. She stopped receiving the letters. Nothing. Two days had passed and she had neither seen nor heard from him.

Within her something cried out. Her day had been shaped by those words. Every morning she would read them, clinging to them. She hadn't realized how much she had depended on his ideas, his thoughts, and his expressions. Now they were gone.

What had happened?

That night Kagome went to bed with a heavy heart and a sigh. Perhaps he did not care anymore. Or maybe she wasn't interesting.

Reaching a hand up she sighed as she felt the tears on her face. There was no use for crying, right? She was the one that pushed him away.

center/center

She was sleeping. He could hear the breathing on the other side of the door. Without a word he did something he had never done since the night of the dinner and entered her room. Carefully he walked over to the side of her bed, watching her sleep.

Looking at her face more closely he recognized something. Tears. She had been crying? What had happened? Frowning he shook his head slightly and fingered the envelope in his hand.

He had been working on this letter for the past three days. With a bit of uncertainty he set the envelope on her vanity, leaning against the mirror.

And then he left the room, still silent and still a little unsure.

She probably wouldn't be happy with him in the morning.

The morning sun rose to greet the world, waking unhappy people everywhere. Kagome was one of them. Her face contorted as she tried to turn away from the light that seemed to be shining directly in her face. What? What was that?

Lifting up from the bed slightly she opened her sleepy eyes to find that the vanity mirror had been moved and that the morning light was reflecting into her face. That's odd. Who had moved the mirror?

Standing up, she rubbed her eyes slowly and turned to get into her chest, finding a simple kimono and dressing for the day. Turning to the vanity to get her brush it was then, partially hidden by the blinding light, that she saw it. An envelope, sitting so casually as if it were meant to be there in her room; he had come into her room.

Rushing over to the vanity she snatched up the envelope and then tore it open like a child on Christmas day. But there was only one sentence.

Tears began to fall from her eyes. It couldn't be true. Really, not now, it wasn't possible.

Shaking her head she heard an almost inhuman sob escape her lips. What did it matter to her? It didn't, no, it didn't matter!

Racing around the room she gathered her things together and rand down the stairway, leaving the letter on the futon in the little pillar of light, alone.

One sentence. One sentence that crushed her world.

Go home, Kagome.

center/center

InuYasha was the first to find her. She had fallen from the kimono, not used to wearing them outdoors. He ran to her, lifting her in his arms and carried her to the hut.

He knew this would happen. That bastard had to do this to her, didn't he? As he set her down against the wall of Kaede's home the elderly woman came from the rear of the house. "Kagome! Child, are you all right?"

Kagome let out another cry, unsure what she should say. Her breath was broken and shaky and her body couldn't stop convulsing with her tears. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo entered the hut after hearing the cry. "Kagome?" Shippo asked, afraid for her.

She reached out and hugged him to her, unable to stop the sobbing from escaping her. "Rin is all better now." It was the only thing she could say.

Everyone looked at the broken girl with a small pang of guilt. She didn't deserve this. And why had Sesshomaru done this to her? He was obviously infatuated with her by now, so what had she done?

Instead of asking they only went back to their daily routine. Nobody mentioned it. They would continue on, hoping that Kagome would forget.

Hoping against hope.

He woke to the screaming and sobbing and instantly dressed, preparing himself. He could hear the loud storming through the house, throwing open every door available.

Rin had woke. Rin had found Kagome to be missing. And now… Rin was crying, screaming through the home for the woman-child that she had come to know as her mother.

"Kagome! Kagome! Where did you go, Kagome? What did Rin do? Please! Kagome! I will read all day long if you come back!"

It was heartbreaking. He didn't know what he could do or say to make it better. They had all known this day was to come.

Kagome had a duty to perform and a family to be a part of. She did not belong here.

He really never was good at lying to himself. But he tried really hard, really.

With a sigh he turned to the door just as Rin burst through, face burning red and tears running down in streams. "Kagome is gone! Lord Sesshomaru! Bring her back! Bring her back!" She assaulted him with her body as she hugged to his legs, crying and screaming with all her might.

"Rin. Kagome can come back whenever she wishes. But for now, she has things she must do. We were not a part of her life before and she cannot neglect those who were in her life just because we came to be a part of her life now. Would you want her to make that sacrifice for you?" He said this with a certain sounding voice, as if this was so logical and honest that nobody could argue with it.

Leave it to a child to find holes in his argument.

"But Rin loves Kagome! You make sacrifices for the ones you love!"

He sighed and looked down at her. "Rin, who told you such a silly idea?"

She frowned up at him and scowled. She had never behaved that way to him before. "Kagome." With that she turned away from him and ran out of the room.

Suddenly.. his life seemed very empty.

They had been walking for hours now, heading south towards a shikon shard that Kagome sensed. Nothing had appeared but they remained hopeful.

Surprising everyone, Kagome had jumped right back into her role and looked for shards, never once bothering to mention the past few weeks. So, they all kept silent, knowing that for her sanity they should.

That night they all sat around a fire and watched as Sango cooked. Kagome sighed and they all turned to look at her. "My last can of chicken noodle soup." She said wistfully. "Rin had loved it. My mom said it's the best thing to eat when you don't feel good."

They all nodded to her, as if they had any idea what she was talking about. Sango continued to stir the soup. She hadn't known the food had a sentimental value to Kagome. She had simply found it in the pack and prepared it. Now she felt bad.

Kagome smiled as she took her cup of soup and sat back to sip it. "I will miss her."

Her words spoke so much more into the night and everyone sighed as they watched the fire crack. What could they do for her?

They all went to sleep, on edge due to Kagome's somber attitude and the lack of any shards found. Things just didn't seem to be going well anymore.

The night was quiet and abnormally warmer than it had been for days. Spring was upon them. Soon flowers would bloom everywhere. Kagome smiled and thought of the little girl as she slowly drifted to sleep. "Sweet dreams, Rin."

A habit she could not break.

That morning she woke early, intending on beginning her practice with her staff again. She had been out of the run for a while now and it would do no good to be out of shape.

Standing she started to stretch and then stopped, mid turn, eyes fixed on a small strip of paper on the ground.

An envelope.

An envelope with extremely familiar handwriting.

She picked it up and fell down to sit on her sleeping back. Shaking she turned it and snapped the seal to reveal the letter inside.

Again. One sentence. What was with that man and his one sentenced letters?

With a sigh she carefully read the words.

And slowly she began to cry. The letter fell to the ground before her and her tears fell with it. Miroku awoke first, nudging Sango to wake and help him with their friend.

"Kagome? What is wrong?" He asked her. Sango motioned to the letter on the ground and they both sighed.

The demon slayer lifted the paper, reading the words slowly before she too threw it to the ground and fell before her friend, wrapping her in an embrace. "Oh, Kagome." Was all she could find room to say.

Miroku picked up the paper and looked at the elegant handwriting. One sentence and he read it slowly:

I'm sorry, Kagome. 


	10. Chapter Ten: I don't need you, but

Chapter Ten: I don't need you, but…

A month had gone by. Kagome didn't cry anymore, at least not outwardly. And nobody had heard or seen from Sesshomaru since that last letter.

The group, secretly, was happy for that fact. Kagome deserved better. If he was just going to send her away on a moment's notice like that, then he shouldn't have her anyway.

But slowly, they were all beginning to realize the truth. He didn't let Kagome go. He sent her away. He knew she would be unhappy without finishing what she started and so he had done what he had to do. Nobody would admit it out loud but they all knew this was the truth.

All except Kagome. She seemed to live in her own little world now. A world which had no Sesshomaru in it. Sango watched her friend silently dying. It was horrible. Somehow she knew that Kagome had found that special someone that InuYasha had told her was out there for her. And yet.. the fairy tale magic didn't happen. Why not?

Why had he done it the way he had? Couldn't he have told her to her face? Or couldn't he have come up with a hundred other ways to still see her? Why did it have to be… goodbye.

It didn't seem right. It wasn't right. Sango grimaced and looked to the west. He had seemed so different than what they all expected. Maybe that's what Kagome saw in the stoic man. The secret person beyond what everyone was given to look at. Could that be what had caused her to be so drawn to him? Perhaps. It sounded too romantic, though.

This wasn't a romance. It was turning into a tragedy.

The Tragedy of Kagome Higurashi. It sounded like one of those novels that her friend enjoyed reading. With a shake of her head she sighed, unsure what to do. Then an idea struck her. The letters!

Rushing up to walk next to Kagome she nudged her a little and watched as she smiled slightly. "Hey, Sango, what are you all excited about?"

She grinned and said slowly. "Oh nothing. I just have this idea in how you can get Sesshomaru back."

Kagome stopped. Completely stopped moving. What? Nobody had mentioned his name until today. Why now? "eh.. What?" Sango grinned and shook her head at the miko. "The letters. Write some to him. Get him to cave in."

She was stunned. What was wrong with Sango? Was she mad? "Cave in?" She asked, dumbly. She was so confused. Did they think that there was some sort of.. thing.. going on that she was missing out on?

As she glanced at the faces of the others in the group she was guessing that was probably accurate. "Am I.. missing.. something?"

InuYasha and Miroku both nodded. Definetly. You're missing it. "Okay. Sango. What do you think I should be doing?" Sango looked exasperated and threw her hands up in the air. "You silly girl! Write him! Tell him how your day is going, but leave a few parts out to make him wonder. And give little hints at how you're feeling. Make him wonder. Make him miss you more!"

Kagome didn't really know what to say. "More?" Okay. She was really being dumb by the looks on their faces. "You think he misses me?" Everyone groaned and turned to walk away from her.

"You're kind of hopeless, Kagome." InuYasha said as she followed behind him. She waited, knowing he would continue. "Sesshomaru is someone who was raised to do duty first. Duty comes before everything, even your personal feelings. You have a duty and he saw that you were neglecting it so he did what he felt needed to be done."

Her brow furrowed as she took this information in and was about to say something but he continued before she could. "What's very ironic about the whole situation is that Sesshomaru is also somebody who does not do things for other people. He does not care if somebody else does not do what is right, only that he does. So he obviously did this for a reason. And I can think of only one reason why somebody as immobile as he would do something so drastic."

She sighed and again went to say something when he stopped her a third time, holding out a hand. "Kagome. Don't be stupid. We know you want to forget because you're hurt but that's no excuse. What did you do the last time he hurt you so badly?"

They kept walking while they talked and she thought, eventually speaking softly. "He had embarrassed me in front of the court. Made it out that I was some sort of whore, though I don't think it was his intention. But it happened. I was angry and I cried for a while before I decided that nobody would humiliate me like that. So I got out the best kimono he had bought me and dressed up, makeup and all. I even found my handheld curler and curled my hair. Then I went back, proud of myself and unashamed. I would demand respect, if nothing else."

InuYasha listened and nodded, so that's why she had been so pretty that night. "So why did you do this, Kagome? You could have just gone back as you were and been proud. What was with the change, who were you trying to impress?"

With a raspy voice they could all hear her lips part, dry and afraid. "Sesshomaru."

"Rin. Come out of that room right now. You need to eat something." Sesshomaru was getting tired of this. The child had been a pain since Kagome had left. He couldn't blame her entirely but surely she did not blame him!

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you right now! I'll eat later!" He heard her yell towards the door, obviously laying in her futon.

Kagome had come to heal the child of her illness, and heal her she did, but when the woman had left so had a part of the girl and now they had a hateful little shell lying within their home. Nobody, save Jaken, could speak with her. Jaken was probably exempt because he was the one who had brought Kagome here to begin with and that she had been so kind to him. Sesshomaru couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

Stupid toad.

He growled low and thrust the door open only to pull it back closed when a rather expensive crystal vase flew towards him. He heard it shatter on the other side and sighed. "Rin. Why did you do that?"

The little girl's sobs could be heard on the other side and she cried out to him in an angry tone. "Because I hate you! You made her go away! She loved me and you sent her away!"

Sesshomaru had never felt real pain until today. The words Rin said echoed through his heart and he could not understand the pang he felt within his soul. She hated him.

What had he done?

Kagome sat there, looking at the paper with a curious gaze. They had practically forced her to sit and write. Somehow they all felt it would be very therapeutic for her, if nothing else.

She sighed. All she could think of to say ran along the lines of "Dear Sesshomaru. Please go jump off the nearest cliff and land on your precious Tokijin." One sentence.

That was it! That's what she could do to get him back! Jerk! Those stupid one sentenced letters had pissed her to no end. Now it was payback time. Quickly she was inspired and wrote the simple sentence down. She folded the letter and sealed it with a little heart shaped sticker, just to give him a good idea of who it was from.

Smiling she stood and presented the letter to her friends. "There! All done!" They looked at her oddly. Had she said something strange?

Miroku was the first to comment. "You look awfully happy. What did you write?"

She laughed and shook her finger at him. "No way. It's a secret. Only the person whose name is on the front may read the contents. Got it? Now, how to get it there?" She wondered aloud as she sighed, trying to think of some way to get the letter to the western home.

Jaken would have surely taken it for her if he had been there. But he was not and so she was unsure who to request. Suddenly Kirara came forward and took the letter between her teeth, jumping off into the sky before transforming to fly off to the west.

"Thank you, Kirara!" She smiled and then realized something. "Please give the letter to Jaken! He will know what to do with it!" A small grin formed on her face. Payback was so much fun.

Jaken was preparing a meal for Rin when he heard a large commotion in the hall. Rushing out he saw a huge fire cat in the hall, growling slightly but not angrily. She had a letter in her mouth, gripping it firmly until she saw him.

The cat seemed to be pleased that he was there and ran up to him, dropping the letter at his feet before darting back out the window she had came in from. The toad was confused and looked down at it, and then realization dawned on him when he saw his lord's name upon the envelope.

He grimaced but shook his head. Poor Lord Sesshomaru had no idea what he had gotten himself into when he had allowed that woman to worm her way into his heart. With a slow walk he went up to the study and entered, without knocking. He saw the two ladies there again, that Aya was probably begging Sesshomaru to marry her again. A nuisance. He didn't bother to speak or acknowledge anyone. He simply placed the letter upon the desk where he was sure his lord would notice it when he was finished.

Unfortunately for him, Sesshomaru seemed to feel he was finished already and picked up the letter, eyeing it carefully. It did not go unnoticed by the others that it had been sealed with a symbol for love. He turned it, tearing into it with curiosity and then reading the sentence in disbelief.

What?

She wrote him to say.. no, she wouldn't have. There was no mistaking, it was her writing.

I win.

That was all it said. He couldn't help but laugh. She was using his own words against him. He had been so certain that the letter would be flowing with words of her days and her usual banter.. wanting to hear her voice, if only in his mind.

Instead. He heard his own. I win.

The woman was insufferable. He quickly picked up a blank piece of parchment and began to respond. This game was far from over, Kagome Higurashi. 


	11. Chapter Eleven: I don't love you, but

Chapter Eleven: I don't love you, but…

Kagome stretched for a moment before picking up her staff. It felt good to be back in practice and it felt better to have found quite a few jewel shards the day before.

After she had sent the letter to Sesshomaru something had changed, as if the world's whole axis was altered to set her into a better mood again. They had found shard after shard, a total of eight in one day. That was a record for them.

While she was in her exercise the others had woke to find her in the routine. It was nice to have some semblance of regular for them. And then, something occurred that had happened just a few short weeks ago to throw their world into a spiral.

The sky cracked and rain poured upon them.

InuYasha sighed. "Not again. Kagome! It has to be you; you were with us last time this happened, too!" She giggled at him and continued her exercise, unphased by the weather.

"Maybe it's your bad disposition, InuYasha!" She called to him and he scowled only causing her to laugh more.

If he had thought it was bad enough.. suddenly the bushes began to tremble and out burst Jaken, again. The hanyou couldn't help but roll his eyes. What the hell was going on here?

The toad entered the clearing, holding out a letter addressed for Kagome. However, she surprised everyone by turning away from it. "I don't want it." Jaken gaped, unsure how to respond. Then he threw himself on the ground, begging her to take it. "No. I don't want it. Tell your lord that if he has anything to say to me he can come and say it himself. And I might talk to him if I feel like it." As an afterthought she lifted Jaken and brushed him off. "And tell Rin I said hi."

Jaken was sure he was going to die now.

Sesshomaru paced back and forth in his study, glaring at his retainer. He couldn't believe her! Storming past the quaking toad he rushed down the hall and banged his fist against the door to Rin's room.

"Rin. Get dressed. We're going to get your mother." He said as he continued to march down the hall. To anybody he might appear to be merely brooding but to those who lived there it was obvious that he was not pleased. Lord Sesshomaru had been denied.

The little girl came running out of the room, tying her hair back as she ran to him. "Really! Are we really going to get her now?" He nodded and set the girl onto Ah-Un. They took off to find her, wherever she might be.

He wasn't really sure what he was going to do when he found her. Strangle her, perhaps? Maybe. But then Rin would really hate him and he couldn't have that. So.. what else? Scream at her? Oh that sounded lovely. Really he could use a good verbal lashing. Who better to provide than an angry Kagome?

Sighing in defeat he wondered how he had come to get here to begin with. Why had she done that? He had hoped that, with her letter, she would at least allow correspondence between them. Hoping that, with each letter, they could keep this going. But she had refused. Why?

He couldn't understand her. She had faced down so much and now was cowering from a letter? Was she cowering? He thought hard. No. She was evening the playing field. Bringing him to her. Clever girl.

Stupid, but clever.

They touched down just outside the camping grounds that Kagome now stood in. He watched her from the forest shrubbery and was shocked to find that she was not laughing with her friends. She was sitting, to the side, waiting.

Waiting for him. Was he that obvious? Damn her!

He growled low and she jumped, turning to look in his direction. Yes. You know I'm here now. Her friends looked at her oddly before going back to their conversation.

But their conversation would have to wait. He grew tired of watching her sit there, licking her lips in anticipation. He stormed out to her and marched right up to stand where he could look down on her. "Why did you send my letter back, Kagome?"

Her eyes turned up to him, twinkling in amusement. "Whatever it was that you had to say you can say it to my face. I'm tired of these games."

He frowned and reached out a hand in the direction Rin was in. The girl ran up to him, handing him the letter he had told her to hold. He then placed it in Kagome's hand and wrapped her fingers around it. "Read it." A command. He expected her to listen.

"No."

"Please."

"No, Sesshomaru. I won't."

"Why not!" He practically yelled at her, feeling his anger rise. Why did she have to be so damn stubborn?

"I already told you why not!" She yelled back, glaring at him. A familiar feeling crept upon him and he smirked.

"Did you? Are you sure?" She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Are you deaf now, too?" She asked in irritation.

"That is quite possible from all your yelling. Your voice is quite painful to my ears, you know."

Her body went rigid and she threw the letter at his chest, causing it to bounce off and fly away towards the bushes. He looked at it worried, but turned back to her, not able to back down. "Oh really? Is that why you were constantly listening in on my conversations?"

"Why no, Kagome, I listened to assure that you weren't teaching Rin anything she shouldn't be learning. Humans have a way of spreading stupidity."

She screamed in rage and flew at him, ready to strangle him with both hands if she could ever hope to reach his throat. "You jerk!"

He laughed and grabbed her wrists, holding her to him. "So you've told me, my dear. Many times."

She blushed and sighed, struggling against his hold on her. "Please. Let me go."

He shook his head. "I can't do that, Kagome."

A frown marred her face. "Why not? It's hurting."

"I know. Me too." And he leaned down and kissed her, releasing her wrists and wrapping his arms around her. It had been so long since he had last done this. He had almost forgotten how wonderful she felt.

Almost.

She was pushing against him. This was familiar. "Sesshomaru! Stop! You can't keep doing this!" He looked down at her with a curious gaze and she only grew more angry. "What makes you think th.."

Again. And again if he must, he would silence her this way until the end of time if only to hear her voice and then feel her lips. It was quite amusing. He pulled away and looked down at her. "Kagome, do you mind if I kiss you?"

He laughed as her shocked gaze fell on him. Angry and flustered. She looked so alive and lovely. It was amazing but strange. Then she sighed and pushed him away.

"I have a letter to read first."

He watched as she went into the bushes and found the paper, snapping open the seal. She looked at the contents, unsure what to do or say.

"Is this some kind of joke?" She asked nobody in particular but was looking at Sesshomaru with a serious expression. "What's the meaning of this?"

He laughed and reached out, grabbing the letter and throwing it into the fire. She looked startled but he didn't care and took her hand in his. Pulling her body towards him he smiled down at her.

"I win."

He told her friends and his brother that they were always welcome to visit her but that she could never leave him again.

And then… he led her away, back to her home, back to her child, back to him.

Only Miroku had seen the true contents of that letter. He was a little surprised.

It was blank.

Fin 


End file.
